


NGC 604

by Viradecthis



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hermann is a closeted romantic and we all know it, M/M, nebulas and galaxies, passionate and fascinating letter, they fuck, they kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22248487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viradecthis/pseuds/Viradecthis
Summary: Newton’s throat closed at the thought of it not being the first and last time. Oh, but it was intoxicating (long fingers gripping his hips, dark bruises to testify that I hate you, I hate you!) and at the same time it felt like torture. There were no kisses, no eyes to meet his, and every push felt like a stab as Newton reminded himself that he was just a body and Hermann was thinking about someone else.Or: the hidden problems of hate-fucking someone you love.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Comments: 12
Kudos: 76





	NGC 604

**Author's Note:**

> The premise to this is that english is not my native language, so if you find any mistakes please tell me right away :)  
> Enjoy!

It had started in the way everybody bet it would: angry at each other, just enough to scream with the intent of hurting, a little too close maybe, stepping over the dividing line. 

One moment they were spitting insults, the moment next Newton was choking over a moan, bent over his desk, Hermann biting at his shoulder.

That would be two weeks before and Newton’s throat closed at the thought of it not being the first and last time. Oh, but it was intoxicating (long fingers gripping his hips, dark bruises to testify that I hate you, I hate you!), and at the same time it felt like torture. There were no kisses, no eyes to meet his, and every push felt like a stab as Newton reminded himself that he was just a body and Hermann was thinking about someone else. 

The aftermath involved Newton scrambling back to his feet and getting as far away as possible, Hermann not making a sound for the rest of the day and both of them struggling to look at each other the morning after.

Until they started fighting again.

And so, Newton screamed back and then followed Hermann into a dark corner of the Shatterdome, doing himself the decency of keeping his moans to himself, I hate you, I hate you, I love you.

This time the setting was Hermann’s room.

“Why, why can’t you just face the fact that your theory makes no sense?” Hermann was screaming at him, voice cracking over the words in anger.

“Because I’m right and you’d know it if only you weren’t a stubborn-!”

“Mathematic is not stubborn, Dr. Geiszler, it’s precise! If my numbers say-!”

“Your numbers don’t say shit because your model is wrong!” Newton’s voice raised in pitch.

“My model is right because my numbers say so!” Hermann retorted, reinforcing his statement by furiously tapping his cane on the ground.

“And my theory is right because my specimens say so!”

“God, Newton, now you are just infuriating” Hermann cut him off, spitting venom. 

“Oh, I am infuriating?” 

“Yes, you absolute man-child! You and your bloody specimens-!”

“Says the one who’s so mature that he throws chalk at me!”

“-left unattended, just waiting for someone to get poisoned!”

“Well, maybe you should get the hint!”

“As if you could afford to lose the last person on this planet who’s willing to talk to you!”

Newton stopped for a second.

“As if I could afford?” he opened his arms, tone mocking the other. “You wanna know what’s infuriating? You! You, pretending I’m the only screw up in here! Pretending you’re not as alone and miserable as the rest of us, because that would mean showing some kind of emotion, you fucking robot!” 

“Just because I know how to control-”

“You don’t control shit! You scream constantly, you only talk about your goddamn numbers and you’re so repressed you’ve been screwing me rather than facing your goddamned feelings for another human being!” Newton became suddenly aware that he was screaming. “Wanna talk infuriating? You, fucking me while thinking of someone else, that’s infuriating!” he yelled, pointing a venomous finger. 

A moment later he was spinning on his heels and reaching for the door.

Hermann’s brain blanked out for a second, but his anger was faster, his blood far past the boiling point.

“Don’t you dare- come back here!” his fingers found the other’s wrist, yanking him back into the room with enough momentum to make Newton stumble straight into Hermann himself. 

Newt managed to avoid Hermann’s bad leg, in favor of knocking their heads together and falling face first on the bunk bed. The sound of a cane cluttering to the floor followed.

“Shit, are you alright?” he immediately turned around, adjusting his glasses back on his nose. 

Newton moved to sit up, but a pressure to his chest slammed him back down and in a second Hermann was hunched over him, pinning him on the bed with a stare that could kill people.

“Don’t you dare” he hissed, wrath rolling his r’s, “making assumptions over my behavior.”

“Like you’re so hard to read, you bastard!” Newton said, loud enough to cover the knot around his throat.

“Don’t you dare” he repeated.

“If you wanna hate fuck me over your desk, fine! But at least look at me while you’re doing it” Newton spit, ignoring the sting in his eyes. 

“Then do me a favor and keep screaming at me instead of dropping silent every time” he murmured, low and harsh, rage pulling words from his mouth.

This felt like a knife slowly being pressed in Newt’s chest and his vision got blurred by the pain of it.

“You son of a bitch” a hoarse spit, “so that you can pretend my voice is someone else’s?!”

The moment after that the air was punched out of his lungs by Hermann’s body pressing him down into the mattress. It wasn’t their first kiss, but it was the first one that didn’t resemble a bite, and as Newton’s lips parted feeling the brush of a tongue, a tear escaped his eyes. 

Slowly, Hermann fell to his side, ending the kiss. 

Newton breathed heavily into the sudden silence, pressing his lips to hold back a sob. His head was spinning.

“Why are you crying?” a whisper this time. 

When Newton disclosed his lids, he found the other’s eyes, big kind eyes, staring at him from across the mattress; lying close, but without touching.

“I’m fine” he blinked a tear back.

“Why are you crying?” 

Hermann’s voice had turned calm, low, painfully sweet. Newton knew how to handle screams and insults but this was sickening. He felt naked.

He shook his head, trying to draw a breath that only came out as shaky. 

“Newton” and his heart exploded, breaking his sternum and cracking his ribs.

Another tear escaped from his eyes at the sound of his name murmured with such care.

So this is it.

“I…” This is how I die. “I’ve fallen in love with you” his voice trembled. Hermann stilled and Newt snorted painfully at that. “And you’d rather hate fuck someone else” he laughed, and he felt a little hysterical, and he felt a little like he was drowning.

Hermann inhaled deeply. 

Newton looked at him in the stretch of silence, dark lashes fluttering in front of him, the sharp line of his mouth as he worked his jaw and oh, God, such a sweet way to die.

“Who, then?” 

Another stab to the chest.

Newton felt another tear warmly marking its trail. He shook his head. I don’t know. I don’t want to know. 

“Who-” his words failed him. Hermann averted his eyes. “Who else would I want to look at” he choked on his words, “when I could see… galaxies in the green of your eyes?” A dark blush spread over his cheekbones. Beautiful. “When I could find the Triangulum Nebula in- in the shade of your irises?”

Newton’s heart missed a beat. Tears kept falling.

“A-And” he started fidgeting, his eyes flickering over Newt’s face, “who else would I want to kiss... when I could trace constellations with your freckles?”. 

Newton sobbed, loud and heart shattering, and Hermann lunged forward.

“Who else?” he asked again, his voice urgent now, “Who else could I think about when you’re lying in my bed?”.

Newton suffocated a cry, bringing a hand to cover his mouth.

“Lies” his voice was muffled.

A timid hand reached Newt’s face, and gentle fingers brushed over his cheek. Long fingers, strong ones that had left bruises over Newt’s sides, and were now wiping away his tears.

“Why would they be?” 

Newton swallowed, heavy between them. “That sounded a lot like poetry.”

Hermann shook his head, pressing his lips together: “That’s not poetry, that’s statistic”.

“Those are promises”.

“Those are chances”. 

Newton fell silent. 

Hermann worked his jaw again, worrying his lip between his teeth. “I-” a pause, “I’ve been in love with you for quite a long time” he whispered, his gaze trembling from Newton to their feet, “and I don’t see that changing… anytime soon”.

And now it was Newt’s turn to stare, but there was no silence this time: his head was spinning, his heart beating so fast he could feel it in his ears. Was he breathing? Hermann was so beautiful to look at, his blush spreading under his shirt.

“You…” a pause, because Newton’s synapsis needed a moment. “You are in love? Wi-with me?”

Hermann lowered his head and awkwardly nodded, messing up his hair against the pillow.

“But” maybe Newt’s braincells needed more than a moment, “that’s impossible” Hermann pursed his lips in that way he did when he was trying not to smile at one of Newton’s jokes, “because I am in love with you”.

Hermann cleared his voice.

“It is quite… lucky for two individuals to develop mutual feelings, but there’s always a chance” he said, in the same tone he would use to explain the atomic nature of the breach.

He worried his lower lip between his teeth, raising his eyes for just a second. 

“As I said,” he murmured, “statistic.”

A moment later Newt was lunging forward and suddenly there were cheekbones under his fingers and wide, soft lips parting under his. It was bad. They were both smiling far too widely for it to actually be called a kiss, but it didn’t matter. And then a hand was grasping at the stretched collar of his shirt, an arm circling his waist to pull him closer, closer, as if they were to fit into each other like pieces of a puzzle.

Newt's mind was buzzing, his synapses flaring up like fuses between Hermann’s touch and the fact that he tasted like tea and smelled like chalk and I love you, I love you so much it burns!

Melting into the kiss, Newton let himself being maneuvered on his back, hands pinned over his head and legs spread like a symphony.

“What are you doing?” his mouth curved, the embarrassed ghost of a smile. 

“The scientific method necessitates experimental testing, Dr. Geiszler,” Hermann scowled, lowering his body to lay over him with a pec on his lips. “That was the theory,” thin lips brushed Newton’s cheek, “now I’m going to prove it”, a final kiss to the corner of his eye, catching the remains of his tears.

“Stop using science as an excuse to fuck me”, Newt snickered, smiling so wide his cheek hurt.

Hermann fell silent for a moment, adjusting Newton’s hair with the brush of a finger. His blush darkened. 

“I’m going to make love to you”, he whispered, his voice low, and, God, that sounded like the most erotic thing Newton had ever heard.

Another kiss and Hermann was sitting up, pulling at the hem of Newt’s shirt.

“Lights are still on” Newton spit, suddenly self-conscious.

“And they bloody will stay that way, now take this thing off” he said, without any real bite.

The shirt ended up being discarded on the floor.

Hermann stilled for a moment, towering over Newton with lidded eyes and reddened lips. 

Newt could feel dark pupils inspecting his tattoos, trailing over his torso and his arms, finally fixing over his bruised hips. He stopped breathing, his cock twitching at the idea of being in display just for Hermann. 

A finger caressed his hip, slowly making his way up his side and over his ribcage. A kiss to his lips. A kiss to his chin. Then Hermann’s tongue traced a slow stripe along his neck as his thumb brushed on a nipple and Newton choked over a moan.

A kiss to his cheek.

“I said I want to hear you scream” he murmured at his ear, biting his lobe. 

“Holy shit, Hermann” Newt moaned, because if Hermann’s voice did things to him when it was yelling about numbers, this was enough to make his eyes roll back into his head.

And then there were lips over his bruises and hands at his waistband. Long fingers spreading his legs and his owns pulling at Hermann’s hair. The sound of lube and lips, digits and hips, pushing between his thighs until Newton was reduced to a mixture of choked profanity and Hermann’s name moaned over and over, then screamed, then whispered. 

When Hermann woke up the morning after, he was alone. He didn’t even need to raise his head from the pillow to know that Newton wouldn’t be there. The air was cold, silence lingering heavy in the room, tying a knot around Hermann’s throat.

His mind went through a brief recollection of what happened the night before. There had been cuddles and more kisses, and Hermann had given Newton an old t-shirt to sleep in that looked way too big on him. His chest suddenly felt tight around his heart. He slowly exhaled, caressing the empty mattress next to him. It was still warm.

Hermann wondered if it had been the sound of the door closing that had woken him up.

He sat up on the bed, letting his legs hang from the mattress. He noticed his cane had been picked up and was now hooked against the bedside table. Newton’s clothes had disappeared from the floor.

Hermann got up, heart sinking into his chest, and silently reached the bathroom. He opened the door shifting his weight from his leg to the handle, and then everything stilled. The light was on, the small window open, and Newton stood there before him, still wearing his t-shirt, silently brushing his teeth in front of the mirror. His clothes laid next to the sink.

“Shit, sorry,” Newton said around the toothbrush, “I didn’t wanna wake you.”

Hermann’s mouth failed to form any word. Newton spit into the sink.

“I found a spare toothbrush, I hope it’s fine.” 

“Of course,” Hermann finally managed to say.

He walked up to Newton’s side and, finding himself lacking things to say, he started brushing his own teeth looking straight into the mirror. That immediately revealed to be a terrible idea because it was way too difficult not to stare at the bruises on Newton’s neck, and when the other noticed, Hermann decided that the ceiling looked particularly interesting that morning.

He missed Newton’s grin.

They both spit at the same time, wiping their faces dry and still not moving. The silence got heavy once again. They awkwardly stared into the mirror, not meeting each other’s eyes.

Newton was the first to break.

“About last night…” he turned around, looking at his feet.

“I was serious” Hermann spit, cutting him off.

Newton raised his eyes, a faint smile on his face.

“I’ve been in love with you for quite some time,” he quoted himself. “I said it and I’m not taking it back” he announced, tone solemn, as if it was a new theory, a scientific statement about his latest discovery.

“How… how long?” Newton asked, his voice soft and careful.

The heel of Hermann’s palm pressed up against the handle of his cane. The ceiling still sounded tempting. He cleared his voice.

“The first time was your fourth letter” he murmured, a secret, as if the sink could hear him. “The second was after our first month as lab partners.”

Newton stepped closer to him, a grin on his face. “Two times?” he teased.

“I lost count” Hermann shut him up, annoyance now in his voce. “Do you know how hard it is to make me lose count? But you managed to do that too, didn’t you? One day, Newton Geiszler, you’re going make me lose my mind t-” but Newton cut him off by gripping the collar of his shirt and backing him against the sink. Hermann’s hands found his cheeks, cane be damned, angling his face to kiss him deeper.

“My God, you made me so mad” he murmured, their fronts touching, “and I… I would fall out of love with you, but then you would do something infuriatingly stupid like bring me decent enough tea or sneeze” Newton laughed, watery, and Hermann kissed him another time. “You managed to make me fall in love with you again and again and then you made me lose count!” 

Newton’s arms circled his middle and looked at him, green eyes shining with the dimmed light of the bathroom, and, oh, God, there it was, NCG 604 staring at him with a smile on his face. 

“When was the last time?”

Hermann felt his own blush deepen, his cheeks burning. He cleared his voice for good measure. “Three years ago,” he averted his eyes. “You were yelling at me about how meaningless it was to divide kaijus into categories and instead of getting mad I just… well.” His gaze went back to Newton’s eyes and, oh god, oh god, tears. “Did I say something-?” but Newton only kissed him again, harder than before, whimpering into his mouth. Hermann slid an arm around his shoulders, holding him closer and swallowing a sigh. 

Newton ended up nuzzling the other’s chest, but Hermann’s lips chased him. His fingers carded through Newt’s hair, gently tipping his head back and a slow trail of kisses traced the pattern of the dark lovebites on his neck.

“I still win” Newton said, lips brushing Hermann’s collarbone.

“What do you win?”

“I had a crush on you since your first letter”, he leaned back, all smug, “and then fell for you when I received the seventh.”

He watched as Hermann’s brows furrowed in that particular shape they did when he was trying to recall something.

“You complained about the quality of the chalk the PPDC gave you and I knew I was fucked.”

“I complained about-” Newton cut him off, kissing him again.

“Na-ha, you don’t get to be angry about this” he warned him.

“I complimented your intelligence several times, I even listened to your terrible band!”

“You fell for me because I sneezed!” 

Hermann rolled his eyes. 

“I’m actually surprised the band didn’t give me away” he later said. Newton laughed into his neck.

The room suddenly felt more silent.

“I still have them” he murmured, low and secret, more private than a declaration of love. “Your letters, I mean.” 

Hermann placed a kiss in his hair.

“Likewise.”

“I know” Newton smiled.

Hermann leaned back to look at him, raising a single brow.

“Dude, I knew you were a romantic. I bet on it. Actually, that’s something else I win today, someone really should give me a prize.”

Hermann watched him fall silent, raising a slow hand to fix his hair. The hair didn’t agree and just got back to its previous position. He smiled.

“What?”

“How does dinner sound like?” Hermann whispered.

“Very romantic” he teased.

“Well, don’t get too used to it,” he said, without any real bite, “this lasts only until you do something idiotic again.”

“Meh, I’ll just catch a cold.” 

“Tonight, at eight?” 

Newton nodded. “Can we please go back to bed first?”

“The sun is not up yet, darling,” he kissed him softly, “of course we can.”

**Author's Note:**

> If any of you got curious, here is the [Triangulum Nebula](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Nursery_of_New_Stars_-_GPN-2000-000972.jpg), a.k.a NGC 604.  
> If you want to leave a comment, leave it. Even if I wrote this 5 years ago. You're still going to make my day :)


End file.
